You haven't Earned it yet, Baby
by modestroad
Summary: He was right, the little imp and you only had enough time to hug Henry and promise him that you were coming back. When Emma hugged you it was a pleasant surprise but you had no time to tell her anything more but to take care of Henry. (Spoilers s3)


He doesn't beg you to stay.

He looks at his son and you don't have to tell him anything or explain yourself because he knows. His son is the most important thing in his life and Henry is in yours. So when you tell him that you have found a way to go back home and break the curse, his lips turn a thin line, but he nods and helps you pack your things; the clothes you've been wearing when he first found you in the woods and the sword.

The sword is what kept you in this land for so long; everyone had a story to tell but few knew what they were talking about. Finally, after what it seemed like an endless journey, you finally have in your possession the sword that can kill the Shadow.

You can go back, break the curse, kill the Shadow and win your son back.

**[x][x][x]**

"He knows you are leaving," he says to you late at night when you are too edgy to sleep and he's sharing his pipe and blend with you. He only smokes his pipe at night when Roland is sleeping in the tent, enjoying the warmth of the fire and the cold breeze. It's late autumn and while you spentthe last thirty years in Maine, you find yourself shivering; he gives you his cape and you move closer to him, your bodies touching, sharing warmth and secrets.

You love his accent and playful eyes and the way he takes care of his son and his men. He is a noble man, your thief, everyone's admitting that. He took you when you were injured, cold and disoriented, when everyone wanted your head and hunted you like the monster you are, and treated you back to health. He stood by you when his Merry Man found out who you really are. He looked at you and saw someone who would do anything for family and that was something he respected and understood.

Between trying to survive in a land wasted from the curse and the quest to find the sword, you fall in love. You didn't see the tattoo on his arm until you invited him intoyour tent one night and threw him out right away.

You never liked to accept your fate, not without a fight.

He didn't havea clue about your sudden change, but he gave you space, let you take your time and when you went to him, months after that dreadful night, he opened his arms and heart, and for the first time since Daniel, you felt like belonging.

"He's a smart child," you answer back, playing with the fire with one of his arrows.

"It will take him a while to accept that you're gone."

You nod; it will take you a while to accept he's gone.

You rest your head to his shoulder and stare the fire.

**[x][x][x]**

Each step it bringsyou closer to your goal and each step takes so much effort; your feet feel heavy like you had to run a sprint after a marathon. Robin is talking to one of his men, Roland is playing near you and Mulan is watching you. She's been watching you since your first night camping with the Merry Men.

"You are good with kids," she says after she catches you staring at her.

"Does that surprise you?"

"A little, indeed."

You are trying to teach Roland how to play soccer and you laugh when he kicks the leather made ball with his little legs. You are surprised when you see a smile onthe warrior's face. You've known Mulan for so long now and she has a haunted look in her eyes, one that you are too familiar with. You never asked her who was it, a fiancé or a lover, but you know she has lost someone, someone very important to her.

"That game you are playing," she asks without asking.

"Soccer," you offer the answer to her anyway, kicking the ball Roland's way, the little boy trying to kick it back to you, but ends up kicking air.

She nods and stops the ball with her foot, waiting for Roland to go for it before kicking it back to you; Roland laughs and runs after the ball.

"You seem pretty good at it."

"Hardly," you chuckle and make a show of running to catchthe ball only to lose it tothe laughing four years old. "I prefer baseball."

She raises an eyebrow, the word so foreigner to her that you have to hide a smile when she speaks again. "You played this _base ball_ with Henry?"

"Taught him how to throw a curveball." To her puzzled expression you make sure that Roland is where you can see him, far enough away that you won't hit him, before searching the ground and finding a stone big enough and heavy just the right way to throw.

"Curveball," she says afterwards not at all impressed with you or the baseball. "You must have a lot of free time in your world. You have all those games."

"You are very curious about that world." You look at Roland, running towards his dad and you want to stay here as much as you want to go back to Henry. "Any reason why?"

"No reason. No reason at all."

**[x][x][x]**

You are getting closer.

The place you are heading, a bridge that supposedly links realms is at the far north of the land and despite walking for ten days straight you're still ten days away. But you can already feel the change in the air; the magic, it begs to be free. The temptation gets stronger and stronger and you snap at everyone for everything.

Robin's not afraid of you, but his men are. They walk in pairs behind you, hands close to their weapons for the faintest of bad moves. You want to yell at them, tell them they are fools for fighting fire with bows and arrows, but you are so close now. So close to _The Link of the Worlds _that you swallow your pride and keep walking.

Your legs feel heavy, each step leaves your gasping for breath, but you keep walking.

You are getting closer.

**[x][x][x]**

"You should take Roland and your men and leave," you whisper to him and you want to snuggle closer to him but can't. Your nose is right under his armpit though and he smells of sweat and that wool cloak he wears to keep him warm. The only reason you don't smell is because you are using magic, but you are wearing the same clothes weeks now and the farther you go to the north, the slimmer your chances for a bath get; you have Roland between you, covered with both of your cloaks and blankets, the fire outside burning with fresh woods, but the little boy shivers in his sleep despite the nest you made for him.

"We are almost there, Regina. Besides, this is nothing. You should have been here the long winter when Roland was but months old. That _was_ winter_. This_? This is as bad as first snow."

He smiles and shivers and you spend the whole night awake, altering the temperature of the tent to the point that soon after Roland throws his covers away.

**[x][x][x]**

"You don't love me anymore?" Roland looks down when he asks you shyly.

You have a day or two of walk before you can find the bridge and he is a smart little boy. He can tell that his dad is sad and he knows you are leaving. He's too small to remember his mom, but he is small enough to love you like one.

He reminds you so much of Henry and it makes your heart ache.

"Of course I do, Roland, but I need to go back to my son." You bend to his level and use a finger to raise his chin so he can look at you. "Remember the day I found you in the woods, how lost you were without your dad?" He nods, a small pout still in his face and you hug him tight, breathing him in. "I need to go back to Henry because without him I'm lost too."

**[x][x][x]**

He takes you against a tree, fast and hard and you push your hips back, trying very hard not to scream and have Mulan or worse, one of his Merry Man, come to the rescue.

Your nipples are hard and hurt rubbing on the tree skin, your breathing fast and sharp and he feels good inside of you.

You come before him and he covers your mouth with his hand.

He doesn't come inside of you.

You use magic to clean yourself up and after seeing him bend down to grab some snow, you flick your hand and just like that he's clean.

You go back to the campfire after one last kiss.

**[x][x][x]**

"How do you know the sword will kill the Shadow?" Mulan asks you.

You are cooking, you are seasoning the meat and she's cutting the last of the vegetables you still have; a few onions, some carrots, two cabbages and a sack of beets. Tomorrow you will reach the bridge and tonight you are cooking a feast. Robin had found and shot two snow gooses and Much the Miller's son is preparing the fire.

"Because nothing else did."

You remember coming back from Neverland, tired but happy, with Henry inyour arms. You remember how you used to sit on the deck and look out for fish or mermaids and his disappointed when you saw none.

He was always a curious boy your son, maybe too curious. But you laughed and played with his hair and promised him he would get to meet Ariel once home. He hugged you then, tight, as if he hadn't seen you in weeks, as if he didn't believe you were finally going home and you felt his heart beat in his chest and relief washed over you.

It didn't matter that he would go home with Emma and her family because he was hugging you with all his will, like when he was a little boy and only the two of you.

But your victory was short lived.

Pan and the Shadow had found a way to Storybrooke.

Without Henry's heart, Pan went for something else; magic and no place held more magic than Storybrooke and it residents and while you fought back, Gold killing Pan in an attempt to solve this mess once and for all, you underestimate the Shadow and its real power. The Shadow tasted the magic and the potential this world now held and found it to its taste.

With Pan dying and the Shadow free, you did the only thing you could think of; you helped Gold cast another curse. Despite his power, Gold wasn't enough to cast the curse without your help. He didn't have the one thing you always had; your will.

Your will kept you going when others would simple give up and your will made you absorb a curse that normally would kill everything in its past.

"Why me?" You asked, holding Henry closer to you; you just found your son, the hell you were going to leave him behind.

"I'll link my magic to the Shadow," he said and you had to think for a moment.

"You are going to trap it in the town. And with the new curse you won't remember who you are so you won't be able to use magic. And if you can't use magic…"

"It won't know it's trapped." He finished for you.

"Why Regina?Why not me?" Emma offered.

"I'm afraid, dearie, this is a mission for a different kind of…_hero_."

One that won't mind getting her hands dirty.

He was right, the little imp and you only had enough time to hug Henry and promise him that you were coming back.

When Emma hugged you it was a pleasant surprise but you had no time to tell her anything more but to take care of Henry.

"And if it doesn't?" Mulan asks still chopping the beets but looking at you.

"It has too."

She says nothing and you try not to think what will happen if she's right.

**[x][x][x]**

_The Link of the Worlds_ is a rope bridge.

Of course it is.

It doesn't look very safe from where you're standing and you have no doubt it will not look safe up close. The weather and the scenery doesn't help either; it's been snowing since last night, making it impossible to see where the bridge ends and where it starts.

"Like a page from The Lord of the Rings," you say under your breath and Robin looks at you with a smile you know too well."It's a book with hobbits, dwarfs, elves and humans. Fighting the greater evil. You would like it."

"Hobbits?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Little people with big feet." You try to explain.

"_Oh_," he smiles. "Like you then."

You don't smile. "Don't do that."

"Don't do what?"

"Don't make it harder for me to leave you."

**[x][x][x]**

In the end, crossing that bridge is easier than you thought.

**[x][x][x]**

(Henry.)

You are coming home.

Henry, you are coming home.

* * *

**A/N:** Title is from a The Smiths song with the same title. A big thank you to all the ladies that offered their skils and free time. This is going to be a Swan Queen fic so bear with me.


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